That I resurrect this blog!!! Not that it was ever much to begin with, but it was something that I wanted to do and still is and so...here we go again. If you know me, and I figure everyone reading this thus far does, you know these last few months of my life have been a little crazy. I feel that this blog will be a good outlet for me and my thoughts since now I have a lot more to write about than I did when I first started this blog. Landon, my son, is 6 months old today. I am all but fully recovered from a medical illness that almost took my life, and I am back at work (boo), but only part-time allowing me to stay home and be a Mommy and Wife full-time four days a week. Life is good and I'm trying to live it the fullest.
I decided to start this blog back tonight, because this week I've started a list of four major goals that I want to accomplish and I think this will be the best place to log my progress. I know that writing my progress down will help me to stay more on track towards my goal. They are all very important to me and I want to make sure that I stay on target with them. Slacking off is easier than staying motivated, but I am determined and the only thing in my way is myself. Hopefully, I won't be an issue. So here they are..
1.) Lose weight.
30 pounds to be exact. I have a lot self-esteem issues that stem from everything that happened to me this past year. There are many things about my body that I cannot change. I will have to learn to deal with and get past most everything, but my weight is not one of them. I am 5'8" and weighed 182.5 pounds at my first weight watchers meeting tonight. That's right, in order to meet my first goal I am joining weight watchers. I am very excited. I picked weight watchers for many reasons, but mainly because I feel like weight watchers is going to be a lifestyle change and not just a diet. I am ready for that and I feel like I will be successful. My first hurdle comes in only two days when my family and I are going for dinner at Bucca Di Beppo. A restaurant that will probably blow my 31 point daily allowance out the window with just a bit of their delicious Italian food, but have no fear, I get an extra 49 points a week and I will probably need them all for that dinner. I'm most looking forward to trying new healthy recipes and tricking Adam into doing with me (shhh...I'm not going to tell him though).
2.) Find a church.
Since our priest, Father Bill retired in June, Adam and I decided to find a new church. We are both hoping to find a church that is more conservative than the Cathedral, but I am also very interested in finding a church with a good children's community for Landon and a good community outreach and formation program for myself. Since I've gotten home I've felt a real need to give back in some way. I don't yet know how or what I can do, but I want to explore. A man told me just this week "Seek and you will find" and that is exactly what I am doing...I am seeking to make a difference, to give back, and to try in some way to help others. This Sunday we are trying mass at St. Francis of Assisi. They have a wonderful children's community which includes religious classes for children who do not attend Catholic schools. Even though this is a few years away, we do not plan on sending Landon to a Catholic school and so making sure he gets a Catholic education is very important. I've heard wonderful things about St. Francis and they are a great community church so we will see how it goes. I'm am very excited to try it. The following week Adam gets to pick and we are going to St. Micheal's, the Orthodox church, so in I am hoping we enjoy St. Francis and can end our search.
3.) Find a bible study and start aggressively reading the bible.
Wanting to reach out and help others is what I want to do to give back, but reading the bible and really studying it is what I want to do for myself. I've started numerous times, read bits and pieces here and there, but I've never read the bible all the way through or really studied and tried to understand what the bible says. This has now become a very important goal of mine, probably my biggest goal and I feel like finding a bible study will help me to really conquer this goal. Finding a bible study in the Catholic church is not an easy task though. No wonder people say Catholics do not read the bible. I've called around all week and just when I thought I may go outside of the church (which is fine), I found a small bible study that meets Sunday morning at St. Francis of Assisi. Hence, why we are going to Mass there this week. I'm looking forward to finding a group of people I can feel comfortable with sharing and learning. Like the church, I don't know if St. Francis will be that place, but I am going to start there and see what happens.
4.) Write my story.
I can't explain it, but I have a strong urge to write down my experience over the past six months. Starting with getting sick in January. Its is not a story that is over yet as I still have my battles, my good days and bad days. The main reason I feel a need to write everything down is because no one other than Adam really understands what this experience was like for me. Everyone else shares a similar experience that pretty much ended in March when I woke up and it was clear that I was going to be ok. That is when it actually started for me, having been medically sedated and unware of everything up until that point I came to and my whole life had been turned upside down. I think what I went through was a unique experience that not many people can relate to and I want to be able to explain what it is like to go asleep one day, wake up over a month later, and not be able to move. I want to share my dreams, well nightmares, my daily struggles with staying positive and appreciative for making it through and I want to share what I have learned from it all. I by no means feel like I now hold the answers to life, but I do feel like I've learned some very valuable lessons and I would like to share it. I also feel in some way it will be therapeutic for me to write it all down. It won't be a short task, but one I am looking forward to.
I found a great quote yesterday that said "What defines us is how well we rise after failing" I have adopted that as my motto. My life has changed in so many in the last 6 months. I am ready to reach for the stars, but I plan on starting with these four simple goals that will help me to continue to rise and become the person that I want to be.